As hormones started to kick in and the pretty girls were identified (for at least the next 10 years), being scrawny and boyish was bad enough. But I had to wear these thick plastic glasses too?! They were just setting me up for social failure. Beauties never wear glasses. You don’t see singers, actresses or models with glasses unless they’re playing the part of the nerdy and the less attractive. Glasses were like having braces, being flat-chested and having short hair. You just didn’t want that. Glasses did not equal attractive.
Romantic Cynic: My Ideal Woman
I have enough insecurities and issues related to comparing my body to other women. Would it be better or worse with a girlfriend? Would I want to be with someone traditionally prettier than me with bigger breasts and smaller thighs? Or would a less feminine woman catch my attention? Could I be jealous of the way my girlfriend looks? Sure, I could feel self-conscious around a really physical fit or Adonis-like man but I couldn’t exactly strive to look like him so it wouldn’t be as bad, I imagine.
The World…As I See It: Jeans and a T-Shirt… The End of Traditional Femininity?
Femininity is more than the outfit you have on. It’s about the way you carry yourself. The most feminine women, in my opinion, are those that can be graceful in any situation. Changing their oil, shopping for groceries, dancing, waiting for the bus, lifting weights, walking a dog. Floating through it all. In my dirtiest, most pissed-off, or uncomfortable situations, I hope to carry an air of confidence and poise. (I hope my) Femininity is the refined embodiment of masculine strength.
Eye of the Beholder: Embracing the -ER
I’ve always prided myself on being -er. I’m not the thin, pint-size ideal woman. I’m tall-er and don’t need a ladder to reach things on the top cabinet. I’ve never been petite and feminine. I’m bigg-er and can carry the heavy groceries. I hope to never feel the need to play dumb for a man (or authority figure for that matter). I’m okay – and rather enjoy – being smart-er. Bigg-er, tall-er, smart-er, whatever. I’ve embraced the -ers in my life. Good or bad, they’re there and show no signs of changing anytime soon. In that teenage period of “discovering myself”, all I really saw were the -ers. They seemed to be all there was to me. I had to define them or let them define me.
