As a sensitive dog owner, I am generally annoyed by the concept of outdoor cats…However, as a pet owner, I realize my dogs are my responsibility. If they scare a child at the park, I’m responsible. When Rodman bit someone last winter, I was responsible. When they poop in public, I’m responsible for cleaning it up. And on and on. They are our furry children. However, it seems outdoor cat owners do not feel this same level of public responsibility.
No Patience For You: Attack of the Killer Cockapoo
About a week and a half ago, this sweet-faced puppy bit another resident of our apartment complex. The circumstances are ridiculous and take too much energy to type out. But let’s just say that my dog has unique and unresolved behavioral issues (my fault), my roommate wasn’t restraining him as best she could (her fault), and the “victim” reacted to our two dogs in a way that only further agitated them (her fault). Now, I’m not blaming the victim per se. Anything my dog does is ultimately my responsibility… It’s just that when you encounter two obviously agitated dogs (one 80 lbs and the other 17 lbs) on leashes while their owner/handler is busy picking up poop and the owner asks you to wait a moment while she finishes with the mandatory clean up so that she can better control her dogs, sweeping your agitated chihuahua into your arms and trying to rush by is probably not the best idea. I’m no dog expert but I’ve heard such reactions teach all of the dogs involved that there is something to fear in their encounter. And now that she’s actually been bitten, I imagine her belief that her reaction was the best will be strengthened. Oh well…
No Patience for You: “My Bad” is NOT “I’m Sorry”
Shit happens. Things get lost. And all of the crappy additions are not his fault. BUT admitting fault is not the same as apologizing. I wanted to hear him say I’m sorry. I’d just sat in an hour of traffic, waited 30 minutes for 3 minute food, lost any good parking at home and all I get is “That’s all on me”?
No Patience For You: Retail Etiquette
5.) (Probably one of my top pet peeves) Make-up and deodorant stains you caused. If I put a clean white shirt in your fitting room and retrieve a foundation-stained now to be considered “damaged” shirt, I blame you. Either not wear make-up when you shop or plan to be responsible for you stains. It’s not our fault you feel you need to hide your face. And don’t tell me your make-up is just a little color. We never find eyeshadow stains. And deodorant rubs off. Don’t stain it and then ask me to check for another medium b/c this one’s stained. I KNOW it was you.
No Patience for You: Eve, No Apple is that D*mn Good.
(Possibly graphic, beware)
Eve (as I call my monthly visit, Aunt Flow, menustration or period) does not make me bitchy. It just lowers my tolerance to annoyances. As I told boys in high school, just because a girl is annoyed with you doesn’t mean her insides are killing her. Maybe you’re just annoying. If I was on my period as often as people around me thought I was, I would have bled to death years ago.
No Patience For You: Concert Etiquette
Give me a pair of concert tickets and a comfortable pair of tennis shoes and I am one happy camper UNTIL, of course, other concert goers get on my nerves. It may be asking too much but I really wish people could exercise a little concert etiquette when attending a live performance, especially if it’s standing room only. A few of my pet peeves:
Hats — Unless it is an outdoor concert, there is little reason to wear a hat. If you find it absolutely necessary to wear a hat, please do use all a favor and NOT wear one with a bill. We’re all vying for valuable eye-level views. Don’t be rude and block someone else’s if you can help it.
Unnecessarily styled hair — Along the same lines or hats, big or obnoxiously tall hair is just rude. Tame it down for the concert. I know you want to express your individuality but a mohawk is annoying at a OneRepublic concert. If you’re on a date, I understand wanting to look your best. But the Gwen Stefani (redistributed Texas) poof is just stupid. Bring it down, lighten up on the hair spray and please realize the people behind you don’t care how much time you spent to make it look that way.
No Patience for You: F Me Pumps
Ladies, when we go out, we want to look hot, sexy, smoldering, gorgeous, whatever adjective you like. BUT there are so many of us that confuse sexy with sexed. There is a distinct difference. Here are a few hints:
1.) If men look you up and down and focus on your face – Sexy
2.) If men look you up and down and focus on an asset and make sure their buddy sees it – Sexed
Shades of Understanding: New Millenium, Same White Cleopatra
Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra was wrong in 1963 but it was at least understood for the time. We’ve come so far since then. Can’t people of African descent finally claim this one historic role on the big screen? The most beautiful (or desirable, depending on how you see it) woman in historywas brown, the shade variant is debatable but brown nonetheless. Can we finally claim her as our own and see an image closer to a “true historical representation”?
No Patience For You: Creeper Quote “I Bathe My Wife Everyday”
I seem to have a knack for attracting the crazies, the true creepers. They must recognize my unrelenting curiosity. Don’t approach me with ridiculousness. As much as I’ll want to tell you off (and my actions and words will echo that sentiment), I find myself almost equally intrigued. Just how crazy are you? Can you top the last guy? And what do you think will work on/for/with me?
